16. When Life Gets Interrupted

Life gets interrupted sometimes, doesn't it?!  It doesn't always go as planned!  

My life got derailed by several home expensive repairs and an unplanned need for a new car!  God held me together and gave me wisdom, direction, discernment, and provision as I leaned on His word especially James 1:5.  

Listen in as I share how chaos turned into clarity and a fun road trip!

https://www.rhondamorales.com for more resources.

Transcript

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Welcome back to the Forget People Pleasing Show. I'm Rhonda Morales, therapist and emotional skills coach, and I help Christian women stop living for approval, build emotional strength, and come back to who God created you to be. I've been away from the podcast for about a month, and I'm not going to spend this episode apologizing for that. Instead, I want to talk about something that I think matters deeply. What we do when life gets disheveled. Because sometimes life doesn't ask permission before it just interrupts our rhythm. Sometimes the storms hit all at once. And that was my last month. Over the past few weeks, I had several big dollar decisions to make about house repairs, the kind of decisions that make you stop, research, pray, ask questions, interview people, second guess yourself, and then pray some more. And then right in the middle of all of that, I found out my car engine was about to die. So now, on top of house decisions, I had to research cars, compare my options, think through finances, and make other major decisions. And I kept coming back to this verse. James 1, 5 says, if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. I leaned on that verse, friends, hard these last four weeks because I had to make decisions, these big house decisions that I've never made before. I've purchased a car before, but that was just the extra adventure added into the mix. But James 1.5, I kept coming back to multiple times during the day. And I mean, I just kept praying, Lord, I need wisdom, I need clarity, I need to know what matters most right now. I need to make good decisions. And I don't want fear driving the bus. And God delivered. That is my banner that I'm sharing with you today, that He delivered through quality workers who showed up and helped with the house repairs. He delivered through timing. He delivered through provision. And he even delivered in the car situation, which really started out as, oh my goodness, one more stressful, overwhelming thing added to the pile of things, which really turned into something beautiful. I ended up buying a car, which turned into an amazing road trip. I drove from Asheville, which is where I purchased the car. And on my way back to Florida, I visited waterfalls and mountains, and I even biked through Hilton Head. You know, that's God, that's his kindness. He knew I could use a peaceful, fun getaway adventure. So the perfect car happened to be in Asheville, North Carolina. It was a beautiful thing, a beautiful find. That's the way God can take something stressful and remind us that He is still present, still providing, still guiding, and still giving good gifts in the middle of complicated circumstances. And that's what I want to talk about today. Sometimes when life gets disheveled, we have to choose what matters most. And I want to put that in the self-care department because self-care is not just bubble baths, spa days, and getting your nails done. Those are nice things, they're lovely, but real self-care is deeper than that. Sometimes self-care is saying, I cannot do everything right now. Sometimes self-care is choosing the most important thing and letting other things wait. Sometimes self-care is protecting your nervous system by not forcing yourself to keep performing when life is already demanding more than usual. And sometimes self-care is stepping back from something good, like a regular podcast, so you can tend to what is necessary. And for those of us who have struggled with people pleasing, that can feel uncomfortable because people pleasing teaches us to keep showing up, keep producing, keep giving and explaining and proving, and keep making sure no one is disappointed. But wisdom, however, says something very different. Wisdom asks, what is mine to carry? What is most important in this season? And what has God actually called me to do today? Not what guilt is demanding, not what fear is screaming, and not what other people might expect. And that's where I had to live these past several weeks. I had to choose and prioritize and pray and pray and take care of the things that were right in front of me. I had to step back from the podcast for these weeks, and that didn't mean I was failing. It meant I was being honest about capacity. That's a word many people pleasers need to make peace with the word capacity. You are not limitless, you're not God. You are not called to be everything everywhere for everyone all the time. You are a human being with a body, a mind, emotions, responsibilities, and limits. And limits are not flaws, limits are part of being human. Even Jesus withdrew, even Jesus rested, even Jesus stepped away from crowds and did not meet every demand placed in front of him. So why do we think we have to? When life gets heavy, one of the most spiritually mature things we can do is pause and ask God for wisdom, not just strength to keep pushing, but wisdom. Wisdom sometimes says keep going, sometimes it says that, but sometimes wisdom says stop. That it's not a priority right now, but let that wait or ask for help or make the decision and trust me. And sometimes wisdom says, you're trying to carry something I never ask you to carry. Because when you're used to people pleasing, you may not realize how often you confuse pressure with calling. You may feel pressure and assume it means you have to respond. You may feel guilt and assume it means you did something wrong. You may feel someone else's disappointment and assume it means you need to fix it. But not every pressure is from God. Not every urgent feeling deserves your obedience. Not every expectation is your assignment. And over the last month, I had to remember those things and put them into practice. Put wisdom and priority and capacity, and I am not limited. I had to put those into practice. I feel like I did it successfully, which is why I'm reminding us all of the beautiful scripture of James 1, 5. And maybe you need permission to say the same thing in your life and practice the same beliefs. Maybe life has gotten disheveled for you too, because here we are at the kids are out of school. Maybe your schedule has changed in a dramatic way. Maybe your family needs are different. Maybe you are carrying decisions that feel really big for you too. So here's the invitation, which is to ask God for wisdom. James 1:5 says, God gives generously. That means he is not irritated that you need help. He is not disappointed that you don't already know what to do. And he is not standing back saying, you should have figured this out by now. That's not God's voice. I want you, though, to pause. If that is something you hear in your own mind, whose voice is that? Let's get that cleared up right now. That's not God's voice. So whose voice is it? God gives generously. And I love that this verse says, He gives without finding fault. So today I want you to ask yourself, what feels disheveled in your life right now? What am I trying to carry that may not be mine to carry? And where do I need wisdom instead of pressure? Where do I need to choose what matters most? And where do I need to stop apologizing for being human? Because taking care of yourself when the storms hit is not weakness, it's wisdom. And when you ask God for wisdom, he gives generously. And I can say that with confidence because I just lived it. God delivered, and he will meet you in your disheveled places too. Before we close, I want to remind you, people pleasing will tell you to keep performing even when you're overwhelmed. God's wisdom will invite you to pause, prioritize, and trust him with what you cannot carry. That, my friends, is where peace begins. Thank you for being here with me today on Forget People Pleasing. I'm grateful to be back with you, back in the saddle, back on a weekly schedule, and I want you to remember that you do not have to lose yourself to be loved. So until next time.